I'm Doing This to Myself

by alright

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1.
02:01
It’s like, nobody wants to be all alone And I didn’t want to cry all the way home But I’ll take what I can get Just picking up all the pieces you leave behind Like everyone likes everyone but you And everyone likes everyone, likes everyone too And I’ll dig my own hole And I’ll keep running circles around myself What did you expect me to do? I can put it all together but I’m not very good at following through Like every word I ever heard you say Maybe we can fall right into place
2.
03:22
We were always thinking the same thing But it’s so hard to make the first move And these words feel so good Hiding right behind my teeth You were always somewhere I just couldn’t reach and I see you every day but I can’t say a thing And there’s so many fine lines That I can’t tell which side I’m standing on And I can’t read your mind Like you can read mine You always wrap me up in all the things that you say You’re not making this easy Do I trust myself or do I just let everything fall apart Do I trust myself or do I just fade Do you say that to everyone, or do you mean it when you’re saying it to me Do you say that to everyone, or do you mean it when you say it to me
3.
04:17
Did I give you the wrong impression? Was nothing the wrong thing to say? Did you need me to go out on a limb? Did you feel the same things I did? I could ask you a million questions I could tell you everything But you’ve built your own world And I know it wouldn’t change anything I’m not in love with you even though I wanted to be I’m not in love with you, you’re not in love with me
4.
02:22
I guess I’m comfortable in living rooms And all the places that let me look right through you I can find myself in the places I don’t know When you take me there, and you take me there And I don’t want anything to change But I’ll die if everything stays the same And you hang on every word I say As if they mean something It’s just the stupid things that keep me up at night While I watch myself become a person I don’t really like And I’ll blame it all on you I don’t want to have to listen to myself
5.
01:38
Tiptoe through my head You don’t have to understand You don’t even have to listen Because all of this belongs to me Maybe all the stars aligned You’re in the perfect place to pull my strings Can’t get it back together Watch it all come undone Hold on, your grip around my chest Hold on, and I just want to know why you won’t let me go I’m slowly blurring at the edges Knowing that I’ll always be alone in this Nothing’s going to bring it around But I still like the way that it feels You can’t seem to figure out which way is up and I think you just like it when you’re bringing me down You don’t even see, You don’t even see me But I still like the way that it feels
6.
02:19
Falling apart, I never had it together I know it’s my own fault Wake up in the back of your car, not quite sure where we are I know I’ve been here before You know exactly who you are And you’re better at this than anybody else Remind me that it’s ok to be myself If I feel wild inside, I won’t apologize anyway Early riser, blue eyes on a grey sky How long will my mouth be dry with nothing to say? I wish I said all the things I meant to when I meant to I wish you said all the things I needed to hear when you meant to And you’re better at this than anybody else Remind me that it’s ok to be myself If I need to fall apart, if I need to start all over again If I need to fall apart, if I need to start again If I feel wild inside, I won’t apologize anyway
7.
03:11
You don’t answer my calls And I don’t hear from you anymore But you still find a way to occupy my mind From time to time And I could say a lot of things A lot of things that I don’t really mean Just to try and make it feel a little better But I still feel like shit every day And it’s not that I really think I need you It’s just that I don’t want to be alone And it’s not that I wish I could go back but I don’t want to let it go Long summer days with nothing to do I wasted all of them with you When there’s nothing left of what you used to know There’s no good reason to go home
8.
02:57
Think about everything you’ve ever done and all the things that I didn’t do Late at night when I can’t fall asleep I’m reliving every moment that I can’t forget I’m not keeping count, I’m just sorting it out Everyone knows better than me how to weather the storm and hide their insecurities And I never know what I’m supposed to say, so I talk too much and I get in my own way Everyone knows, everyone knows better (I talk too much and I get in my own way) Everyone knows, everyone knows better (I talk too much and I get in my own way) I’m not keeping count, I’m just sorting it out (I talk too much and I get in my own way) I’m not bringing it up, I’m not bringing you down
9.
02:27
I get dragged down by everything I come across But I could hang around for the weekend or longer if you wanted me I’ll split my time between where I want to be and what I want to leave behind And I’ll split my mind between the things I care about and the things that hold me back You wake up early in the morning and live your life without me And I’ll lie awake at night or I’ll take a pill and fall asleep I dream vividly, but I only remember the strangest things A mission style painting in a Copenhagen row home overlooking the East River And I’ll split my time between wondering what I could have done differently And making the same mistakes again Bury yourself in your routines, I’ll keep myself busy with something Wondering I know that you’re just tired, I’m tired too
10.
04:12
I can’t seem to change Different space of mind But it’s all the same Trying hard to focus Not everything all at once I wanna focus on you You’re the only thing that’s true Keep me steady Keep me true Keep me level Keep me new I wanna be who you see in the morning Keep me steady Keep me true Keep me level Keep me new

credits

released August 28, 2020

engineered/mixed by Kyle Pulley at Headroom Studios
Mastered by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios
Special thanks to Bo White

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alright Charlotte, North Carolina

Alright is a fuzzed out indie punk band from Charlotte, NC. A project led by guitar player and vocalist Sarah Blumenthal, backed by some boys or whatever.

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